Dina Del Bucchia
She is perfect. Reflexes like a cheetah when you call or ask or don’t say anything. She favourites all your less than stellar tweets. She watches sports with a quiet reverence and only speaks about the game when she has something truly great to say, or to agree with you or when spoken to. She eats hot dogs and hamburgers, dozens of them, thousands of them, and gains no weight, no she loses weight, no she floats away like a kite you thought was really cool in 1992. She is making progress on dinner and also she makes beer fly out of her vagina and then with sex magic it’s lubed up for you to fuck her. She is perfect. She is funny, talks about farts, but doesn’t fart like a real person, perfumed air drifts out on a blue cloud, not a pink cloud because you hate pink and she is perfect.