washing the bones
Patti Lott
my god, it’s dismal
cold, I stumble through rimy
snow, one mittened hand
against my frost-burned face
above me, dark wings cut
through frozen sky. what keeps
that raven going. it gurgles
soft words of what I take
to be encouragement
the baby has died
she is washing the bones
they are tiny, unbearably
fragile, lined up in an order
they will not find again
maybe this is the same raven
who in spring and autumn
brings gifts to my garden—first
a skeletal fragment, provenance
unknown: filigreed, lacy as a doily
but it’s not the baby
who has died, it’s the mother
a half-remembered feeling
above the crib
the shape of an answer
later, a tooth
which, after some consideration
I recognize belongs to Sol
our horse who died here years ago
who we offered to the scavengers:
coyotes, ravens
the mother’s sister loves babies, but only
while they’re small. when the next one
arrives, she sets the first aside
its older brother likes it
too much
a year later
another Sol tooth, and today
always when I’m not looking
a small spine, spiky, slightly curved
a rabbit, maybe a wildcat
each finds its way
into my walled garden, teeth
appear inside the rusted wagon wheel
bones near the gate
she looks out a second story
window. the girls playing below
are magpies, bossy, overbearing
she knows they want
to break her
walking past them after school
she expects everything
and nothing
outside the garden, I feed
birds, which means I also feed
deer. it’s not wise, it habituates
my closest friends: the deer
the crows, the goldfinches
no one else is interested
the townspeople know
whose kids they are
who they don’t belong to
their hand-me-down clothes
uncombed hair
the way they run wild
my husband brings me birdseed,
gunnysacks
stacked against cases of chardonnay
and pinot noir, discontinued chocolate
bars, twenty-pound bags of rice
from his home country
he’ll give it all away—
[I have more diamond rings than fingers]




