Your Father the Game Show Announcer
by gm
Billeh Nickerson
Each morning he introduces breakfast
in a big booming voice:
YOU GET CEREAL! And AN EGG!
AND A FREE RIDE TO SCHOOL!
And your mother is an announcer as well.
They met at announcer school.
So, she’s all: DON’T FORGET YOUR FABULOUS LUNCH!
And sometimes they synchronize:
A ROOM! WITH A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD!
AND THREE SQUARE MEALS!
And late at night
while they think you’re asleep
they make announcer love:
IT’S A BRAND NEW POSITION!
AND NOW IT’S TIME
TO COME ON DOWN!
And by that point,
you’ve plugged your ears
and hidden your head
beneath the pillows.
You dream of a normal life,
free of exuberant announcements,
free of the pressure to follow
IN YOUR PARENTS’ FOOTSTEPS!
